Misty's Condition

Peace

2010-07-23T22:26:00.002-05:00

Doctrine and Covenants, Section 121, Verses 7-9, 11

My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;
And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.
Thy friends do stand by thee, and they shall hail thee again with warm hearts and friendly hands.
And they who do charge thee with transgression, their hope shall be blasted, and their prospects shall melt away as the hoar frost melteth before the burning rays of the rising sun;

Memory Day

2009-05-25T22:11:00.003-05:00

I went to Misty's grave today. Cru and I. A few weeks ago, the night before Mother's Day, we bought a potted plant--pink petunias--with the intention of taking it to the gravesite the next day. Well, Mother's Day was kind of a rough day for me, and Cru didn't really want to make the trip to the cemetery, so we put it off. And put it off again the next weekend. And, well... Today, since I didn't have work, and Cru was out of school, and, of course, it being Memorial Day, it was a really good day to make the ninety-minute drive to the cemetery in Brownsboro. We put the plant in the ground at the foot of the grave, and cleared some of the dead grass and weeds from the remaining mound. We gathered a few of the fist-sized rocks that were lying around and arranged them where the headstone will go (it's on order... should only be a couple more weeks). In all, we only spent fifteen or twenty minutes there. We turned around and drove the one and a half hours home again. Despite the long trip, I'm glad to have gone.

On the drive home, I recalled that Misty often told me (in our early years of dating and marriage) not to bring her cut flowers. "What's the point," she would say, "they'll just die. If you're going to get me flowers, get the whole plant." Then she would tell me that she had no luck keeping houseplants alive, and didn't like gardening, and that it would just be a waste. So, I felt like I was off the hook for all those years. Of course, later on, she told me that she changed her mind. For her birthday in 2007, while I was traveling, I sent her a small potted purple orchid. She absolutely loved it. She tried her best to keep it alive, but it shortly turned into a dry stick. She was very sad about that. That was the last time I gave her flowers. I'm very sad about that.

I think she appreciates the pink petunias I brought her today. Even if they don't survive long.

Good books

2009-05-25T21:00:00.002-05:00

In dealing with my grief and new family situation, I've been reading some helpful books. One of them, a very stirring book which has been around for a long time and has been widely quoted and cited has given me some--not exactly new, but re-framed and reinforced--perspective: Viktor E. Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning. The first part is a moving account of Frankl's time in Nazi Germany's concentration camps. He explains that even through the most terrible situation imaginable, deprived of literally everything, Man can and must find meaning in life. The second part is more of a scholarly scientific document. Listening to the audiobook was good, but I think I'll need to read it for myself to get all the stuff that's in there.

Another book, Leadership and Self-Deception by the Arbinger Institute, is also not exactly new concepts, but a very helpful rehashing of concepts that are familiar to me. Ultimately, it's about charity and loving thy neighbor, but reworked into a system that even I can grasp. I won't try to explain the principles here because I won't do it justice. It's an easy book to get through, with the principles laid out through a story with plenty of great examples. The audiobook was great, but I think I'll have to get the print copy so that I can highlight and underline and reread some of the passages.

I heartily recommend both books.

There are other books that have been recommended to me that I have purchased, but just haven't gotten to yet. I started Bringing Up Boys by James Dobson, and Believing Christ by Stephen E. Robinson, as well as I Don't Have to Make Everything All Better by Gary Lundberg and Joy Lundberg. I also read/skimmed through Jesus Wept by Joyce Ashton and Dennis Ashton which has a lot of good information on grieving and dealing with loss. Also on my reading list is Bonds That Make Us Free by C. Terry Warner, The Peacegiver by James L. Ferrell, and Mere Christianity by C. S. Lewis. No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover also bears another reading at this point in my life. All that, and of course, a chapter or two of The Book of Mormon every night and a few verses from Doctrine and Covenants in the morning with Cru before work and school.

I've also read some very good fiction as well. I recently finished the Mistborn trilogy by Brandon Sanderson. Sanderson is excellent! His work (so far) is also something I can recommend to anyone who enjoys a good novel. I first read his stand-alone book Elantris which turned me into a fan. It was a fantastic book that left me wanting to read a lot more of his work. When I learned that Sanderson will be finishing Robert Jordan's epic Wheel of Time series, I decided that I'd better read the first eleven books (and these are BIG books!) so that I can read the ONE that Sanderson is writing. Now that I've finished the Mistborn trilogy, I still want to read more of what he has to offer. I've started his Warbreaker, but because it's not yet available as an audiobook I haven't gotten very deep into it yet. If you want to give Sanderson a try, this is the book to do it with, since he's giving it away free (in PDF format, available on his website).

How am I doing?

2009-04-07T21:31:00.002-05:00

I don't feel single... I feel half.

Even when I'm focused, I'm distracted.

I feel pureed inside.

I woke up today, and for hours, I felt simply lost.

I feel sustained by the Spirit of God. I am not trudging on, but am being carried through these difficult days.

I am grateful for--and overwhelmed at--the outpouring of love and support from those around me. I thank God for all of you every day.

Tonight, I called my voice mail (on the home phone) just so I could hear Misty's voice. Three times.

I miss my wife.

Funeral arrangements

2009-04-03T10:23:00.001-05:00

Arrangements are planned as follows:

11:00 Family lunch . . . . . . . Garland LDS Church
12:00 Viewing . . . . . . . . . . . Garland LDS Church
1:00 Family viewing . . . . . . Garland LDS Church
1:30 Funeral . . . . . . . . . . . . .Garland LDS Church
2:30 Travel to gravesite
5:00 Graveside service . . . Cemetary
6:00 Family dinner . . . . . . Athens LDS Church

The address to the church in Garland is 2701 N. Garland Ave.

All are welcome.

...gone

2009-04-02T02:54:00.001-05:00

Misty passed this morning at 2:27 am.

We're planning a funeral for this Saturday.

Thanks again for all your prayers and support.

Hanging on by a thread

2009-03-31T22:31:00.002-05:00

Things are about the same, but I know those of you reading this are all just waiting to know how things are going. There's really nothing new, except that Misty's slowly fading. She's breathing, but that's about all. She mumbles from time to time, but is mostly incoherent. From time to time, Misty will open her eyes and reach out, muttering something unintelligible. We tend to believe that she's seeing and talking to the spirits of people who are close to her and her family. We know that Misty is barely hanging on to life. We think the time she has left with us can be counted in days, if not hours.

Thanks to all who have showed up to visit Misty and called to express your love to her. Thanks for the help in taking care of the needs of my family, so that I can spend these final days and hours by Misty's side. Thanks for the prayers. Thanks for everything.

----
It occurred to me that perhaps Misty has already received the greatest miracle of all. I thought of this brief passage of scripture today:

"And, behold, they brought to him a man sick of the palsy, lying on a bed: and Jesus seeing their faith said unto the sick of the palsy; Son, be of good cheer; thy sins be forgiven thee.
For whether is easier, to say, Thy sins be forgiven thee; or to say, Arise, and walk?"
-- Matthew 9:2,5

Going... going...

2009-03-30T01:47:00.001-05:00

Misty is not doing well these days. Since she's been home from the hospital, she hasn't been able to keep anything down... or more like in. See, everything Misty eats or takes in through her feeding tube leaks right back out from around her feeding tube. Her bowels aren't moving at all--the nurses say they hear no bowel sounds. In short, food isn't moving through her intestines and she's getting no nourishment and very little moisture. Unless there's a miraculous change, Misty isn't going to last long like this.

Last night (3/28), a little after 11 pm, Misty collapsed. Her muscles completely gave out and she sank to the floor. I thought for a moment that this was the end for Misty, but then she took a ragged breath and moved her head. Her nurse and I got Misty into a wheelchair and brought her into her room. I asked Misty if she could see me and she responded with very slurred words that she could see only black. Again I began to think that Misty was fading fast. I told her through my tears that I loved her and that if she needed to go, that we'd be ok. Suddenly her eyes popped open, as if to say that she wasn't going anywhere. I asked again if she could see me and she responded that I was "sparkly". We moved her from the wheelchair into the bed and got her comfortable. We thought for sure that it wouldn't be long. We brought in Paris and Cru (Paris was already awake, but Cru was sleeping). LeAndra was staying the night with one of her aunts, and calls were made to bring her home. Misty's nurse tried to take her blood pressure but her machine was unable to pickup a pulse. We sat with Misty, crying with each other and waiting. Misty's brothers and sisters all showed up as the night progressed as we all expected that these were our last goodbyes.

Around midnight, Misty seemed to stabilize. She returned to the condition she was in during the day--very tired, not speaking much, and mostly laying very still--but stable. The nurse was able to get a blood pressure reading which was low, but present. Around 3 am, many of us started dropping off to sleep.

By morning, not much had changed. In fact, now, more than 24 hours later, Misty is still about where she was. A little weaker, a little more exhausted, but still about the same. Again, without a miracle to get Misty's bowels pumping again, she can't survive long like this.

Home again

2009-03-22T13:13:00.003-05:00

Misty got released from the hospital on Friday at around 5 pm. She's also been set up with some in-home nursing care through a hospice program. A hospital bed was delivered and set up yesterday, as well as some other things that will be helpful to Misty while she's so weak.

Misty's not feeling well enough to go to church today, so I'm staying home with her so that she isn't left alone.

Thanks again for all the prayers and everything else.

Doing better

2009-03-19T23:59:00.000-05:00

Misty's intestines are finally cleared... sort of. After running the Drano--I mean, bowel cleanser--through Misty's system and seeing that there was still some sort of blockage, they tried the manual disimpaction. What they found was that there wasn't anything close enough to disimpact. So they next ran a gastrograffin enema, which is usually used for colorectal imaging, but in this case was used to help break up the blockage. A short while later, the broken up material passed.

At that point, her body was passing liquids without any apparent problems. But the results of a CT scan showed that something was still interfering with Misty's gastrointestinal tract--there was still a lump in her colon. So, just to be sure that everything that could be cleared out was cleared out... and (what I was afraid of) to make sure that the lump wasn't cancer that had spread to inside her intestines, they performed a sigmoidoscopy (a colonoscopy for just the lower part of the colon). What they found was... nothing. At least, nothing inside the colon. No blockage, no tumor. But... it seems that one of the tumors that's inside her abdomen is pushing on her large intestine, causing the constriction. So, the good news (and, yes, I'll take good news wherever I can) is that it won't change much for Misty, except that she's going to have to take stool softeners regularly.

Also, in the mean time, the swelling in her belly is returning--after just a few days. Because it looks like this will continue to happen (at least until her tumors are gone), Misty's doctor installed a drainage tube so that the fluid build up can be managed at home without a visit to the hospital. This evening Misty is still tender where the tube was installed, but otherwise ok.

So... to sum up this hospital visit: Pain under control? check. Bowels moving again? check. Swelling under control? check. It looks like Misty should be getting out of here tomorrow.

Feeling drained... (?)

2009-03-15T15:18:00.006-05:00

Two gallons!! That's how much was drained off from Misty's belly. No wonder she was in pain!

So... the paracentesis went well. Last time (in January) it was very painful when the needle went in, and the doctor had to keep adjusting the needle to keep the fluid flowing, thus continuing the agony. This time it was painless. Misty was preparing herself for the torture and was surprised when the doctor told her that the stabbing was already done. The entire procedure went smoothly with no difficulties.

With all that fluid gone, and the pressure and pain with it, Misty is resting comfortably now. The next step is to get her bowels running again. The doctor has ordered an aggressive regimen of enemas and about a gallon of bowel cleanser (the stuff they prescribe for people who are preparing for a colonoscopy). Ultimately, if they can't get Misty's insides running again by tomorrow, they'll have to do a manual disimpaction--and we're hoping it doesn't come to that. Either way, we're expecting that Misty should be out of here by tomorrow night, or maybe as late as Tuesday.

Thanks again for the prayers and the visits, and everything else.

Deja Vu

2009-03-15T01:36:00.003-05:00

Misty's back in the hospital again. This looks just like what she was facing back in January: her belly is swollen so big that she looks nine months pregnant, and she hasn't had a bowel movement in a week.

Since January, her abdominal swelling has come and gone several times--but not to this degree. So, when it started to swell almost two weeks ago we weren't that worried. We didn't want to go into the Parkland emergency room and face all that drama, so we put it off, hoping her body would once again take care of itself. After all, the only things that actually happened at the hospital last time were: abdominal x-rays and CT scans, several ineffective attempts at getting her bowels to move, pain management, and finally draining the fluid from her belly with a big needle. This time, we had the pain (mostly) under control, and we were trying everything to get her bowels working (really! everything! enemas, suppositories, laxitives, and even castor oil, and and old mexican home remedy involving garlic cloves). The only thing we couldn't do at home was stick the needle into her tummy and drain it. As her belly kept getting bigger, the pain increased.

We decided to call and talk to Misty's palliative care nurse and see if they could perform the paracentesis (that's doctor language for the thing with the needle in the tummy) in the oncology clinic without having to go through the ER. She recommended going to another hospital, Saint Paul, just down the street from Parkland where Misty's palliative care doctor also works. We got into St. Paul's ER at about 9:30 am today (Saturday...I guess it's Sunday now since it's after midnight) and they almost immediately took her into an exam room. We got her there just in time, because her pain started to spike shortly after we got there. We explained the situation, and got Misty some heavier pain killers in an IV. They told us that they can tap her belly if she gets admitted--they just didn't have those facilities in the ER--and while they're working on getting her admitted, they'd get started working on her bowels.

In addition to getting the pain under control and trying more laxitives, they also did an ultrasound in preparation for the paracentesis. Finally, at about 10:00 pm, Misty got admitted, and moved to a room. They'll drain her belly tomorrow.

And that's about all we know at this point.

This post wouldn't be complete unless I once again expressed my gratitude to all of you who are praying for Misty and our family. Thanks especially to those who of you who are watching out for the kiddos while I'm here with Misty in the hospital. Thanks also for helping me keep Misty company while enduring the ER today.

I'll put an update here tomorrow after the procedure...

So sorry...

2009-03-01T13:20:00.009-06:00

It's been a really rough several weeks... I guess after the emotional roller coaster we rode on in January, I haven't been up to writing about all of this. It's been all I could do to just keep going through life's motions--and barely that. I guess it's good news that I'm ok enough to post again.

I'm also very surprised at how many people are actually reading this. In these past weeks, I've been told by several people--people that I didn't expect to be reading this--that they check this blog every day and are waiting to see how things are going. So, I'm really sorry to keep you all waiting, and please forgive me for slacking off.

So... back in January, after she got home from the hospital, Misty was actually sleeping and feeling more rested than she had for quite some time. I think this was due in large part to the lack of sleep caused by all the pain she was in, and then there was the sudden absence of pain and she could finally rest. The swelling in her belly reduced, and continued to reduce for several more weeks. In recent weeks the swelling has returned, but not nearly to the degree that it was, and it has also subsided, mostly on it's own as well. We're taking this as a sign that Misty's body is trying to regulate the fluid build up by itself and is mostly successful, despite the tumors.

If you remember, Misty wasn't able to eat when she was in the hospital last. She could barely keep down liquids and anything that was fed into her tube seemed to cause vomiting within minutes. About 2 weeks later, Misty was eating small amounts of fruits--juicy and slippery fruit like grapes, oranges, and melons--as well as avocados and some soup.

In the first week of February, we got in contact (through someone in our ward) with a couple, Sergio and Eva Bentacort, who gave Misty some "energy" treatments. I don't know what else to call it; the people who do it just call it "energy work" or "energy therapy". (The treatments look sort of like a very light massage, but with very specific hand placement and movements.) After that first treatment, Misty felt relaxed and slept very well that night. The following day, Misty's dad drove her to the couple's home, just south of Dallas. She stayed there for most of the day and received several of these treatments. The treatments again had a profound effect, and Misty (who can never sleep in a car) slept on the way home from the treatments! Over the next couple of days, Misty's appetite picked up quite a bit and she was able to eat more than she had in weeks. Misty was invited to go to the clinic in Mexico where the Bentacorts where trained and to get more intensive treatment. The first weekend in February, Misty and her mother went with the Bentacorts down to Monterrey, Mexico. Even though I didn't (and still don't) understand this "energy therapy", (and, to be honest, it seems a little weird) we are convinced that it's certainly doing something positive. Since that first treatment over a month ago, it's been a slow but sure progression back to health.

At this point she's feeling about like how she was at Christmastime--but better. She's taking very few painkillers now. As a result of fewer pain pills, she's much more clear-headed. (Those of you who came and saw Misty in the hospital in January saw just how foggy all the pain meds made her!) For the past two weeks (three, including today) she's been able to sit through all three hours of church. She really is doing much better. We have been praying for a miraculous healing, and this certainly looks like one. She's not out of the woods yet, though. She is still losing weight, despite eating as much as her body will let her. She is still very weak and gets tired throughout the day. She has to sit down or nap frequently. And of course, the pain just shows up every now and then, exploding in her stomach for no apparent reason. The good news is that it goes away after a relatively short time.

Misty is going back down to Mexico next weekend for another set of treatments.

In failing to provide you all with updates on Misty, I've failed to express our gratitude here as well. Misty and I are truly grateful for all the help we've recieved from you. Thank you to those of you who came over and deep cleaned the house. It's amazing how much better things look with clean windows and scrubbed walls! Thanks again for the meals--both fresh and frozen. Thanks also for just coming over. Misty loves the company (and the attention). Thanks also for helping us out with the tires (the ridiculously expensive tires!) on the van. Misty wouldn't have made it to Mexico without the help. And thanks for so many countless other things.

Also... some of you haven't seen Misty for a while. Some of you still haven't seen Misty since she was diagnosed. Because she looks so different than what she did eighteen months ago, some people don't even recognize her. Here are a couple pictures of Misty that might help you recognize her. I have to say that when I went looking back through some of these pictures, I almost didn't recognize Misty anymore.

The first one was from March 2008, the next one is from July 2008, and the bottom one is from Christmas 2008.

Back in again

2009-01-18T16:35:00.002-06:00

After Misty was discharged out of Baylor at Garland on Friday, we were frustrated and scared. Misty's bowels were moving, but only a little. Her belly was still distended and painful, and she still wasn't able to keep any solid foods down. Further, her doctor was recommending that we look into hospice! HOSPICE!

So, the following day, Saturday, yesterday, Misty wasn't able to keep anything down. Nausea and vomiting was preventing her from even drinking water again and, once again, we were worried. So, at 2:50 PM we arrived at Parkland. At least this time we would be able to have her regular oncologists available to answer some questions.

To make this long story shorter, here's basically what we learned after speaking with a few doctors last night: Fluid in the gut (between the organs) usually gets reabsorbed by the body and carried out in the urine. Somehow this process isn't working properly right now. There are possibly three reasons for this: heart disease (as in congestive heart failure), liver disease, and tumors.

Earlier today they inserted a tap (a big needle) and drained a bunch of the fluid from her belly to reduce the swelling and pain. They said they would probably start chemotherapy soon in order to shrink the tumors and lessen the possibility of this condition returning.

So, the good news is: Misty is doing ok. If this fluid can be managed, she will be doing as well as she was a couple weeks ago. This might also make sure her chemo treatment starts sooner, rather than later. Misty is still full of fight and is planning to stick around for a long, full life.

At the moment, Misty's aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, and siblings have traveled in from California, Missouri, Idaho, and Canada, as well as other parts of Texas. They're all taking turns visiting with her in the hospital.

Also, we sang this song today in sacrament meeting and this verse touched me especially:

So amid the conflict, whether great or small
Do not be discouraged; God is over all
Count your many blessings; angels will attend
Help and comfort give you to your journey's end

("Count Your Blessings", Johnson Oatman, Jr. 1856-1922)

Not so good...

2009-01-11T23:58:00.001-06:00

Last night Misty didn't more than an hour's sleep. She was in pain all night, despite taking her heavy pain meds. At around 6 AM we called an ambulance and got her into Baylor Hospital at Garland emergency room where they gave her some more heavy pain medication. Then they took a couple X-rays and a CT scan. And more heavy pain killers. The doctor explained to us that she has an "early obstruction" in her intestines which is causing all the pain. In one sense, this is relieving since we were worried that it might be a complication of her recent surgery or possibly her tumors causing the pain. This also makes sense as she hasn't had a bowel movement since the night before the surgery--3 days ago!

We were told that a specialist would have to be contacted because of Misty's particular situation. They said that they would prefer to send her over to Parkland Hospital where all of her recent medical treatment has been done, but after consulting with one of the doctors at Parkland found that there were no beds available there. So, it was decided that it would be dealt with at Baylor Garland.

Finally at around 5 PM she was admitted and taken from the emergency exam room and put in a regular patient room. At around 9:30 PM we heard from a doctor again who informed us that it's not a complete obstruction. He said that there are a couple of things they can do: they'd normally try to decompress her bowels by using an instrument that goes down the patient's throat, through the stomach and into the intestines and then suctions out some of what is causing the blockage, but because of Misty's tumor in her stomach, they'd have to try it through her feeding tube instead, which makes the procedure more difficult. If that doesn't work, they'll try surgery.

In the mean time, Misty's not allowed to take anything by mouth or feeding tube. Doing so would only make the problem worse. They've also taken her off of most of the heavy pain killers because they all cause constipation as a side effect. And they've placed her on total bed rest to her bowels relax. Misty's not allowed to get up for anything (not even the bathroom--she's supposed to call the nurse for help with a bedpan... but then again, at this rate)

I'm home for the evening, but I'll be back at the hospital in the morning after getting the kiddos off to school.

Thanks again for all your prayers. We certainly need them. And thanks also for all the continued help with everything. We appreciate the meals, and the rides for the kids, and the babysitting, and everything else.

I know you all like to get updates about Misty, but I wish I didn't have so much news.

Surgery

2009-01-10T22:31:00.004-06:00

Misty had surgery on Thursday. The plan was that the surgeon would start with an exploratory surgery (like the one that went badly a few months ago) and then, if the cancer was confined to her stomach, her stomach would be removed. That wasn't the case. The doctors found that Misty's cancer isn't limited to her stomach, but is spread throughout her abdomen. The good news is that it hasn't started growing in any other organs--her liver and intestines and other organs seem to be clear of tumors. The tumors are attached to the lining of her abdomen, and while they aren't directly disrupting normal organ functions, the tumors are crowding her organs, causing severe pain from time to time.

So, Misty is now recovering from the surgery. Immediately after the surgery, she was feeling ok. By the time I got home from work (I work evenings these days), she was up and around. Since then, the hospital's drugs have worn off, and she not doing very well. Today, she's in the worst pain she's seen for quite some time. She probably won't be going to church tomorrow.

Within a week or two, she'll be starting chemotherapy again. We have lots of reasons to hope. We've seen success with this, and with the other herbal and enzyme treatments she gets at home. Apparently the answer isn't surgery for Misty.

She wanted to post pictures of her new scars, so here they are:

Toward the top is her feeding tube. We thought they might replace it, but it's the same old one she's had since August. Then she has a small incision to the left of her belly button (the dark horizontal line toward the right of the picture) and then there's the scar in the middle, just above her navel. You can see a clearer picture of it below.

Here it is: Misty's 2nd bellybutton.

Going back in next week

2008-12-04T14:34:00.002-06:00

Once again, not much to say, but I know that there are those of you who are checking for updates. So, here's an update:

Misty is going back into the hospital for another round of chemotherapy next week. It's been really nice having her at home for all these weeks. I think it's been really good for the kiddos to have her around, and good for Misty, too, to be home. And, of course, Misty enjoys not having the negative effects of chemo.

Misty is really doing quite well these days. Last week, for Thanksgiving weekend, we all (Misty and me, and the kids, and Misty's mother, Terri) took a road trip up to Kansas City, MO to visit Misty's sister, Teralee, and her family. The 9-hour drive up was uneventful and we had a great time hanging out with Teralee and Paul and their two little girls, London and Ashlyn. Misty felt good enough (and crazy enough!) to stand out in the freezing cold--literally, freezing--on Thanksgiving night for FOUR HOURS, with her mom and sister and daughters at the mall, waiting for a free gift card and some early morning Black Friday shopping. We drove home Sunday, and Misty even drove for a bit.

So, now that we've gotten over that holiday, it's time for Misty to get back to the hospital for another 5-day chemo treatment. She'll be out in plenty of time for Christmas, and hopefully she has a mild reaction to the treatment so that it won't completely ruin the holiday for her.

That's about it for now. I'll try to post another update before weeks go by again, and maybe I'll get some pictures up here, too.

As always, we are very grateful for the help you have all provided us. The dinners are thoughtful and always helpful. Thanks again.

No news is good news.

2008-11-13T16:35:00.001-06:00

Two weeks since my last post. And truly, no news is good news, and I don't really have any news. I hate to just keep writing more of the same, and, honestly, not much has changed: Misty's still having good days and bad days. A few times she's been able to go all day with only one pain pill. Lately she's had a head cold or something and she's been feeling "ucky" (her word, not mine). But, all in all, she's doing fairly well.

She was supposed to go in for another round of chemo this week, but her sniffles and sore throat would have kept her out. Hopefully she'll be able to go in next week.

And, again, more of the same: thanks, thanks, and more thanks. I know I haven't shown enough appreciation for the kids' teachers and some of the other staff at Southgate Elementary. Thanks for the gift baskets and snacks, and especially for the work done in our backyard. We're especailly grateful for the teachers who are making sure our difficult situation doesn't interfere with the field trips and extra-curricular activities the kids enjoy.

I also ran across this essay I wrote over a year ago for an English composition class I was taking. I reread it and it moved me with new significance. I thought some of you might enjoy it.

And home again...

2008-10-30T13:15:00.002-05:00

Misty got out of the hospital on Monday and she's now back home. She's glad to be home, and the kids are happy to have her back. But she's been having a rough few days. Lots of nausea, bowel discomfort, and some pain this time. As always, she's trying to do as much as she can to get up and move around--even when she doesn't feel wonderful. Don't get me wrong, she's not feeling terrible all the time, but she seems to taking a harder hit this time than last time. And, all things considered, she's doing ok.

She's back in again

2008-10-22T13:37:00.002-05:00

Misty just got re-admitted. She's in room 720, bed 2.

I'm going to be spending most of the evenings after work in the hospital with her. While it's not exactly wonderful to spend those hours in a hospital room, it sure is nice to have that time with Misty.

Bad blood...

2008-10-18T21:26:00.002-05:00

Misty didn't go into chemo as planned. First, she went in on Tuesday, as scheduled, but was turned away because there were no beds available. I guess that's how it works in a county hospital. Then, when she returned on Wednesday, after admitting her and processing the regular blood work, they determined that her neutrophils were low--whatever that means--and that they couldn't proceed at this time with chemotherapy without Misty becoming very ill. So, once again, she was turned away. On one hand, Misty wished that she could just go on with it and get it overwith. But, on the other hand, she was relieved to come home and not go crazy while lying in a hospital bed--and we're glad to keep her here with us, too. Misty has another appointment to start chemotherapy next Wednesday--if her blood is ok.

And she was doing so good all week. Until last night. She woke up a number of times, dry heaving and gagging, and in pain. When morning came, she wasn't much better. But by tonight, she was eating fairly normally again and doing ok.

In other good news, I got word from my job that I'll be working locally (not traveling) all the way into March. Of course, all scheduling information I get about my work is subject to change until after it's already happened, but at this point I'm relieved that I won't have to worry about how things are going while I'm a thousand miles away.

I feel like I'm beginning to sound like a broken record (do the kids these days even know what that means?), but I have so much gratitude for the help we're getting. I honestly can't imagine how people go through this sort of thing without the kind of help we have recieved from our family and friends, from church members and neighbors. I feel I have to express my thanks to all of you and let you know that we appreciate all your efforts toward sustaining us in this rough time.

Round Three

2008-10-12T18:06:00.002-05:00

Misty's goes back in for the third round of chemo on Tuesday. At this point we now know what to expect. This only makes it slightly easier. It's still rough on Misty to stay in a hospital bed all day. She's hoping again that she gets a room by herself. It's bad enough when she's being bothered by her own machines beeping, but when there's someone else's, too, it's almost enough to make someone insane. Not to mention privacy...

In the mean time, she's actually been doing pretty well. She's been on some pain meds and nausea meds, which help quite a bit with her cramping and pain which are typical to chemotherapy. She doesn't quite have the energy or stamina she used to, but she is doing more than she has been doing lately. She stayed for all three hours of church today, and last week she even made the ninety-minute drive to her mother's house in Brownsboro.

Can't say it often or loudly enough: THANKS! For everything!

Past due for another update...

2008-10-04T08:25:00.000-05:00

Sorry, folks, for making you all wait so long for any news.

Misty has now gone through her second chemotherapy treatment and is back out of the hospital. A few days prior to entering the hospital, Misty started eating and swallowing again. She's been able to go about her day without carrying around a spit-cup in which to dispose of her unswallowable saliva. She can drink water and eat solid food! These are things that she hadn't been able to do for nearly six weeks--and was the reason for checking into a hospital in the first place. She still can't eat much, and her diet is supplemented with stuff that goes into her feeding tube, but this is a very good sign. It means that the tumor has shrunk and is no longer causing as much blockage as it used to.

While Misty was in the hospital, my brother Doug came and stayed with us. Between Misty's mother and my brother the kids were taken care of, and it allowed me to spend the evenings after work with Misty, trying to keep her from going stir-crazy. While he was here, he also put his talents to work making some improvements (some functional, some cosmetic) to our house. As a result of his efforts our house looks and feels a lot more comfortable. I owe more thanks than I can express for his time and efforts here.

Misty also seems to be handling the after-effects of chemo better this time. We think it's because of the vitamins and herbs she pumped into herself before she entered the hospital and since she's been out. She's had some nausea, but not nearly as bad as it was last time. She's much more able to be up and around--and even helpful. She hasn't taken a nap in several days, and rarely needs to lie down to rest (she still gets very tired and needs to sit down for awhile, but not lie down). In fact for several hours today, we were out at the soccer field for team pictures for Paris (which seemed to take forever) and then for a soccer game. But by the end of it, she was pretty wiped out.

Thanks again, to all of you for your prayers. Thanks also for the meals and groceries!! They've been extremely helpful. Again, this takes some of the pressure and stress out of this situation. We also apreciate those of you who have been giving rides to the kids to their various activites. We have infinite thanks for Terri, Misty's mom. She spends countless hours here cleaning, organizing, and taking care of Misty and the kids (and me, too, sometimes). Thanks to you all for your love and support.

Wes' Condition:

Many of you have asked me, "So how are you holding up?" There's never quite the right situation for me to dump about how this is affecting me during a friendly conversation. So, here's the answer to that question:

I can feel all this taking it's toll on me. I know, I'm not the one with a potentially lethal illness, but it's definitely wearing me down. I try to keep myself busy all the time--which is fairly easy during the day while I'm at work. But once I come home, it's hard to let myself relax. And when I don't stay occupied, all the worries and difficulties come flooding back to my mind in a great overwhelming wave. I've been listening to audiobooks to keep my mind distracted when the tasks which busy my hands might otherwise leave my mind to worry. (I just finished Robin Hobb's Farseer Trilogy which was very good, and I'm now listening to Stephanie Meyer's Twilight.) I can feel the difference when I remember to take my burden to my Father in Heaven--and then suddenly it all becomes bearable again. I know you're all praying for Misty, and I'd like to ask for your prayers for me, too (as some of you already are).

Again, thanks for everything.

I hate to even ask...

2008-09-15T17:22:00.000-05:00

I sent this around to a few people at work. Then I thought maybe I ought to post this here, too. Someone asked for a link for online donations, so I created one and posted it here:

Neither Misty nor I have medical insurance, but we're applying for several different funding programs, including Medicaid and Parkland Hospital's own program, as well as others. We're expecting that by the time all of the medical costs are added up, it will equal something between a small house and a large hosue. Her employer, a local chiropractor, has created a bank account for her and will be soliciting donations from his patients.

We have received lots of help from family, friends, and members of our church toward taking care of many of our immediate needs dealing with childcare and meals--especially in these recent weeks when I've been traveling. I have received more offers of help than I know what to do with. I am nearly overwhelmed with the outpouring of love and support being offered to us, and am deeply appreciative of it. I know many of you genuinely want to help in some way--in addition to your prayers on our behalf--but I haven't been able to put most of your offers to any use. So... if you feel so inclined, and have the means, any monetary donations would be helpful--at least to help cover some of Misty's medications. If you are unable to contribute monetarily, I understand, and your prayers will be sufficient.

Thanks again, for anything you can do.

Doctor's Appointment

2008-09-14T14:04:00.003-05:00

We had an appointment with Misty's oncologist earlier this week--on Thursday. He seemed to think things were ok--neither worse nor better than expected. We were told that the worst nausea is in the first few days after a chemotherapy treatment, and then subsides somewhat after that. That seems to be how it happened for Misty. Those first few days after chemo, she seemed to be getting worse, which had me a little worried. But then she seemed to be getting a whole lot better. In fact, Misty felt good enough on Friday to go out and about for a little while, running errands (with her mother--not all by herself), and then out to a dollar-movie after I got home from work. Yesterday, Saturday, she was still feeling well enough and went to LeAndra's soccer game (LeAndra's team won, and LeAndra even scored one of the goals!).

At the doctor's office, we were also informed that rather than being home for three weeks, and then back in the hospital for five days of chemo, that it's a three-week cycle. Or, in other words, home for sixteen days and then chemotherapy for five days. So, it looks like she's going back early next week.

Again, thanks for all the support. Thanks for the meals this week. The meals you prepare for us gives me a little more time with Misty and the kids, and a little less to stress about. Thanks especially for the prayers.

Misty's Haircut

2008-09-10T20:41:00.001-05:00

Misty wanted me to post a picture of her new hairdo.

She actually had it cut a couple weeks ago, while I was in Louisana. When she told me she chopped all her hair off in preparation for chemotherapy, and for easier management while in and out of the hospital, I was a little worried. When I finally saw it a few days later, I was much relieved to see that it was a really cute haircut. This picture was taken a few days after her haircut.

I figured I might also post a "before" picture, too. This bottom picture was taken November '07--eight months before her cancer diagnosis. By this time, she had already lost a good amount of weight by her own efforts--which is why she's smiling and allowing someone to take her picture! The dramatic weight loss since that time is obvious.

Home Again

2008-09-08T11:22:00.000-05:00

Misty is home again. She doesn't seem any worse for wear after her first session of chemotherapy. Yes, she's nauseous and weak, but not much more so than she was before chemo. She's happy to be back at home, in her own bed.

That sure seemed like the longest six days ever--for all of us. Misty wasn't as doped up for this trip, so she was antsy to get up and move around. Keep in mind this is the woman who can't sit through a two-hour movie without getting distracted and putting her finger in my ear. I can only imagine how tough it was for her to stay in a hospital bed for nearly a week! And then, when she did get up and walk the halls, she was too weak to get very far--not to mention, the scenery in the hospital halls is pretty bleak. I, at least, have to go to work and keep focused on something else for a few hours every day. Misty, on the other hand, can just lay there, immersed in her situation with scarcely anything to keep her mind on something else. Watching TV and playing cards only work so well as diversions.

All of us are happy and relieved to see her home. The kids especially are happy to see her, and I think when they saw that she was home this morning, they're stress levels automatically dropped. Just knowing she's around is a comfort--even though she's not functioning to the level that she used to.

So, in three weeks, she's supposed to return to the hospital for another five-day chemo session. In the mean time, we're going to enjoy having her home. For those of you who would like to come and visit Misty while she's home, please call first. She is still very tired much of the time, and has her moments when she's feeling fine, and many more moments when she feels lousy. She does like having visitors, but only when she's feeling well enough to actually visit.

Again, thank you all for the prayers and the offers of help and support. Thanks for the services like mowing the lawns and watching and transporting the kids. These are enormous services that have alleviated a lot of the pressure, and made it possible for me and for Misty's mother to spend more time with her at the hospital.

Starting Chemo

2008-08-31T18:36:00.000-05:00

Misty starts chemotherapy on Tuesday. yay.

One the one hand, I'm glad she'll be getting treatments with proven results. On the other hand, I know that this starts a very difficult road.

It also means that, with Misty's immune system compromised from her treatments, we'll all have to be extra careful when dealing with her. We're all going to have to get flu shots, and use lots of anti-bacterial hand gel. In fact, they've also informed us that hospital visits during chemo treatments will be limited to immediate family. This is really a bummer because Misty has enjoyed the visits and card games and flowers and conversation from everyone who stopped by to see her. (At least she enjoyed it until the pain meds kicked in and then she would either doze off or start saying silly things.)

On an entirely positive note, we got word that Misty qualifies for one of the Medicaid programs, regardless of my income. This takes a huge amount of stress off of our financial concerns--but not entirely.

Thanks to all who helped with turning our messy office into a downstairs bedroom for Misty, and (almost) finishing our downstairs bathroom remodel. With the shape Misty's in, it wouldn't do her well to keep going up and down the stairs for everything. Again, I can't thank everyone enough for the prayers. Please continue to pray for Misty and our family. We still need all the help we can get.

She's home

2008-08-26T17:41:00.000-05:00

Misty left the hospital today and is now at home. Too bad I'm not. :(

ICU

2008-08-25T17:42:00.000-05:00

Misty had a real scare last Wednesday. She was supposed to have her laporoscopy (where they make a few incisions into her abdomen and look around using a camera), but something didn't go quite right with the anesthesia. After getting knocked out, her trachea collapsed and she couldn't breathe for about a minute, and some fluid from her stomach came up and went into her lungs.

Wednesday night was a really bad night for Misty. Early Thursday morning I took off from Louisiana, where I have been working, and drove back to the hospital to see her. Thursday was rough, but she slowly, steadily progressed throughout the day. For the past several days Misty has been in the ICU getting her lungs back in usable condition. She has gone from a breathing tube into her lungs (which she removed herself) to a CPAP machine (a machine with a mask that forces air into her mouth and nose), to an oxygen mask, to just a tube running under her nose. It's expected that she'll be out of the ICU today, and back into a regular hospital room.

As for the laporoscopic surgery, it looks like they're going to put that off for a little while and just get started on the chemotherapy. Chemo is expected to start within the next few days.

Misty's Cancer update:

2008-08-16T16:01:00.000-05:00

More tests and scans were done yesterday. Don't know anything new, and probably won't until tomorrow. Surgical Oncologist is supposed to check her out tomorrow and determine the need for laporscopic surgery--whether it should be right away, or after some chemo. Monday she's supposed to have the mediport installed, and then treatment can start. At that point, she should be able to check out of the hospital and do the rest of it as outpatient appointments.

Again, I appreciate so much all the outpouring of love and care for Misty and my family. I can feel the hand of the Lord strengthening me as I try to deal with the monumental difficulties ahead. Your prayers are are helping. Thanks again.

She has cancer

2008-08-14T13:46:00.000-05:00

Friends and Family,

Thanks all for the concern and prayers for my wife. At this point we don't know much. She was initially diagnosed while on vacation last week in California, and then we decided to bring her back home to Texas for treatment. She's checking back into the hospital today in Dallas. The next steps are exploratory surgery to figure out how big the tumor in her stomach/esophagus is, and if it's spread to other organs in her abdomen. I'll update this from time to time as things progress.

Again, thanks so much for the offers for help and all the prayers.